I am 36 years old! How in the hell did this happen? I swear it was 1990 only 10 years ago. I don't feel 36 at all (or whatever that feels like). I think I am more of a 29..ha ha humor me here. I just cannot wrap my mind around being over the hill of 35 already!
In my old age (ha ha) I have realized that I need very little to survive. I have left so much behind. Things that to this day I have not missed or looked for. I moved from a home of almost 5000 square feet to 1100sq feet. That means I took only what I needed to survive.... yikes, instantly I am transported to this moment when I say that line....
The morning of my birthday we had a snow day called for school, and the boys and I were trapped in our apartment for the day. Yes, me and a 7 year old and a 5 year old in an apartment - all day! Times 2 days of this, plus the weekend we had already. I needed to find a project to busy myself and to make use of this time before I lost it completely. Enter my unorganized pantry. It was organized at one point, but now it was a complete disaster. I struggle to not label myself a hoarder, but I think I may fall into that category. Food goes in - never comes out! But my apartment is clean people - just don't look in any closets or drawers. SHHHHH!
Begin the great clean out. Ok - so what did I find back here. Oh, let me get really embarrassed now. Stale raisins, opened and stale Cheerios, a bag of Halloween Oreos, a bag of popcorn dated July 2013 , and GASP an unfinished and stale bag of Doritos - I am ashamed. This is just a few of the highlights.
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| my shame |
Sorting though all that nonsense on my birthday I came to a "light bulb" moment.
Throwing away shit feels good!
Throwing away shit feels really good!
Throwing away shit feels really fucking good!
All this crap I had in this pantry that I didn't really need anymore was blocking my view of what I needed. The items I use daily, and the staples every pantry needs to function. I had filled this pantry with garbage and it needed to be purged.
Then, hold on, it got even deeper. As I am dragging a bag of stale crap to the trash chute - I think about the people I have in my life. Not about dragging them into a trash chute..literally, but figuratively. I have a problem with collecting people and never letting them go. They sit around in my life (getting old and stale and useless) but I just can't part with them. They have been negative and downers and don't offer any use other than to piss me off. There are a few people like that in my life that I need to just be an adult and move on from. They are not a positive force in my life, they are blocking the few of the essentials and I need throw them away.
Just like when I left my life in 5000 square feel behind - I took only what I needed to survive. Such it is with the people I choose to surround myself with. Yes, have certain relationships fallen to the side - you betcha'! But with those out of the way I see the ones that truly I need to survive. Those other ones were cluttering my view of what I really needed - positive, supportive, loving people who care about me, my kids, and my future - genuinely.
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| You have no idea how much better this is! |
So, if I haven't given you your pink slip notice yet that you are on your way out with me, you are safe, for now. I am a blessed girl to be surrounded by such awesome people, and moving forward I see great things ahead. Maintaining swagger by keeping a tidy pantry!? See, and you thought I had no good Mom Life advice!
Ok - phew that was a heavy blog - but I felt compelled to say it. I warned you all , this is a soapbox of random.
Next time - more on the light and fun side - I promise. I also told you that with the new year I would be putting "feelings all up in your face"! See I deliver! I love my friends - and know that I am not a rotting bag of Cheetos in your pantry of people. I strive to be there for everyone I care about - everyone.
Goodnight y'all, and don't be a stale chip!
Swag on!
Molly
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Im worse than a stale chip! Im rotting broccoli in the way back of the fridge! :(....dont throw me out just yet pwease!
ReplyDeleteI told my mom yesterday that kids born in 1993 would be turning 21 this year! Holy cats, how did that happen? I turned 14 that year. Some would say that's where my maturity level peaked. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL - its insane!!!!! I can't believe how time is flying by. Now the 90s are cool again!?!!?!? makes me feel so OLD! THanks for reading :)
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ReplyDeleteI've moved so much and lost soo many things over the years: family support, lovers, love from my children, respect from others, my reputation, homes, memories, things important and unimportant.
ReplyDeleteMy experiences have shown me that lost of the things in our lives are just fluff. Things that are only important to ourselves and no one else. I also jabber learned what was truly important and what was really needed in my life, who counted and who was important. It also showed me that shine people will make the effort to be in your life, even after you've moved on, because they will catch up. And there are also others that will come back for you.
I had to learn these things earlier than most of my friends because I made decisions about my life earlier than most of them. Feeling like you wasted most of your pretty years, wakes you up to realities such a these pretty quickly.
It makes me happy to know that you have purged negative things from your life and are now focusing on the positive. Only you used the wrong word. You said that you were doing what it took to survive, you took what you needed to survive.
I disagree. You did what you needed to do to finally start living. C: